It comes down to this- when things break.. it’s not the actual breaking that prevents us from getting back together again. It’s because a little piece or two gets lost.. and the two remaining ends couldn’t fit back together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed. Our whole shape is different now.
I don’t need you.. to give me back the open wounds.
But if you start to shed your skin.. naked heart – wearing thin.
When you call.. I’ll be here.
-Matthew Mayfield, Take What I Can Get
when you asked me, ‘was I disappointed when you said good-bye to me?’ I didn’t know to to word it, but I guess what I was trying to say was.. it’s hard to be disappointed when what you expected turned out to be true.
You want to do one thing.. but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you.. yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted.. even when you know you should never take anything for granted. I can’t help but wonder why we always make things harder on ourselves.. we know the line that separates right from wrong, however that doesn’t ever seem to stop us from crossing it anyway. I sometimes think we go against what is right only for the rush, just for the hell of it to see what comes from our rebellion. Unfortunately, some of us learn the hard way.. which makes the pain last longer. But then there’s others who don’t regret anything at all, they learn from their mistakes and are able to laugh about it- and that’s what I try to live by.
It must be hard being you: Not sure of your priorities and not sure where you are going. I remember sitting in your car.. I want to say, a little over two years ago.. and promising you that I would always be there for you. As time has gone by, you strayed away from your path a couple times.. and I let you. I let you because I believe that life has a funny way of working itself out and I knew that I would be standing exactly where you left me when you went ahead and lost your mind. Not because I had nowhere else to be or because I’m a pushover.. but because I thought that you were worth waiting for. Don’t get me wrong.. you are worthy of my time, however.. instead of growing back together, we grew into two completely different individuals. The only thing we have in common now is our past. As people, we live completely different lives. As lovers, we no longer compliment each others characters. I just wanted to send you this, so you know that I will always have a special place in my heart for you. That, will never change. But most importantly, I wanted to thank you for teaching me that sometimes we have to stay away from the things we love and learn to appreciate the things we need.